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  • Elyssa

DEATH shouldn’t come before LIFE

Updated: Sep 25, 2023


This is why baby loss is so hard to understand and so hard to accept. When I became pregnant, I pictured a moment in the delivery room full of joyful tears and love. I imagined a screaming baby, a husband holding my hand, and a brand new grandma watching it all unfold while encouraging me to give it my all. I imagined a new LIFE entering this world. No matter how soon this pregnancy happened, how shocked I was, and how nervous I was, I quickly became attached. I became attached to the baby growing inside me for eight months. I became attached to a baby that was alive inside of me.

I never once imagined that I would lose this baby and that death would happen inside me. That death would occur before life.

So many of us never even see the baby we grew, and my heart hurts for you. For you who will always imagine what your baby would have looked like.

And for the mom who delivered her baby, and they never opened their eyes and looked at you, I'm sorry. I know your pain. To the mom who held her baby while they went lifeless, I am so sorry. I hope you can always hold onto the memory of their sweet eyes looking at you. Whether pregnant for a few weeks or 40 weeks… death should never come before life. And I’m so sorry you’re here today relating to this message.

All we can do when we lose our greatest accomplishment is to keep fighting. And I am not going to tell you it’s easy. I’m in the middle of the heartache, but I’m better than where I started. I hold onto hope. I hold onto the dream of one day holding a crying baby in the delivery room. I hold onto the hope of knowing I’ll see Sadler again.

Fight through the doubt, my friends.

All my love,

Elyssa

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