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  • Elyssa

Go rest high on that mountain

Updated: Sep 25, 2023

Ahh, Vince Gill got me on this one! I was about to hit mile 2 on my run, and this song came on, playing loudly through my AirPods. A few moments before that, a red bird flew before me. I had a friend tell me things like that are "God winks," and I haven't been able to forget it. The lyrics continued to play in my ear, ..."Oh, how we cried the day you left us, we gathered round your grave to grieve, I wish I could see the angels' faces.." I imagine the angels are smiling ear to ear, holding my beautiful baby boy. I am a little jealous of the angels, a little jealous of everyone in heaven, actually. I know my baby Sadler will watch over his momma until I can hold him in my arms again. I know he is resting high on that mountain, bringing me a sense of peace. Does the thought of your lost loved one make you angry that they left this earth too soon? Or does it bring you comfort knowing they aren't suffering anymore? I don't think my Sadler ever suffered, but I do believe he was taken from me too soon. SO soon that I never actually got to see his eyes meet mine. I sometimes catch myself fighting mad when I think about holding his lifeless body in my arms, wishing so badly he would "wake up." But I can't stay angry, or else I will never see the light or the next best thing. I can continue moving forward because I know my firstborn rest high on that mountain. I know our days on earth can seem daunting sometimes, and it can feel like we are just going through the motions. But, when you are having a "daunting day," think about one thing that made you happy today. Did you wake up on time? Was the traffic moving well on the way to work? Did you eat anything good? Were you able to move your body? Did you smile today? Ask yourself this, are you ready to rest high on that mountain? Or do you want to try and make the most out of your short life here on Earth? The baby I grew for eight months rests on that mountain without me. But I keep pushing forward here on earth. My time isn't over, and I know I have some work to do before joining Sadler one day. I hope today you find comfort in knowing that the bad days are temporary and we have something amazing waiting for us at the end of this short life. Until then, remember you have many angels watching your daily life, including Sadler. The sun will shine again. All my love, Elyssa

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